


Fireproof

by SheeWolf85



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 08:07:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13543239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheeWolf85/pseuds/SheeWolf85
Summary: College student Gaster has been harboring a crush on bartender Grillby for a long time.  He has a hard time believing that it might be reciprocated. Little does he know, Grillby feels the same way.





	Fireproof

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm not even sure where this came from. I'm a bit nervous about it because it's my first Grillster fic. I love Grillster from the to bottom of my heart, but that's kind of what makes writing them so hard. I want it to be perfect, dammit. Gaster might seem a bit more like Sans in some ways, but he's Gaster, mm'kay? I'd love to know your thoughts!

 “You okay, Gaster?” Grillby asked.

I looked up and sighed.  “I’m not sure.”  I shook my head.

Grillby put the glass in his hands down and stepped toward me.  “What’s goin’ on?”

I wasn’t sure I could say the words.  I looked at Grillby for a moment.  I could trust him with almost anything in the world. 

“I failed my test.” I could almost feel the magical bile rising up in my nonexistent throat.  I’d never thrown up in my life, but I wouldn’t doubt my ability to in these circumstances.

Grillby reached out and put a flaming hand on my hand.  I saw the flinch.  My bones were cold; just another tally mark in the vast sea of tally marks of reasons he wouldn’t like me.

“Don’t worry, okay? It’s just a test.”

My brow bones furrowed.  “No, it’s not just a test.  It’s a midterm, Grillby.  If I can’t pass the midterm, how am I going to pass the class?”  I put my head down in my hands.  This whole semester was screwed.

“What did you get?”

I groaned internally. I didn’t want to tell him my score on the test, but I also couldn’t hide from him.  “Eighty-five.”  God, that hurt.  I could practically feel my soul cracking.

“What do you need to pass?” he asked.

Now this was where it got really embarrassing. I put my face in my hands.  “Eighty-five.”

I could feel his laughter through my whole being.  I wasn’t sure why he would laugh at me, but it hurt.

“So, in reality, you didn’t fail, you just didn’t pass as easily as you wanted to.”

Sure, mock me.  I sneered into my hands before I realized he could probably see my face through my phalanges and the goddamn holes in my palms.  Fuck these scars.

“Can you retake it?”  He leaned down on the counter.

I put my hands down and nodded.  “Once, but only because I begged the professor.”

My eyes strayed to his arms.  I’d watched those arms and his hands work some real magic with the drinks he’d prepare for his patrons.  The tricks he’d perform were amazing.  I could watch him all night long.  In fact, I’d been guilty of doing just that on more than one occasion.

“How would you like some help studying?”

His question wasn’t what I had expected.  I met his eyes and thought about that for a second.  Before I could answer, a customer came up to the bar.  I watched Grillby take their order.

I’d had a crush on Grillby for as long as I’d been a student; five whole years.  It was true Grillby was hot because he was a fire monster, but there was more than that.  He was gorgeous and funny and smart and sweet, and all the things that I thought I might want in a partner. 

I wasn’t the only one, and I knew it.  Half the town had a crush on the elemental.  The other half were blind, apparently.

I would love to study with my friend.  The trouble was, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to keep my crush a secret.  There was simply no way a monster as amazing as Grillby could love a monster like me.  He’d probably be a little freaked out to know how I felt.

I was scarred in more ways than one.  The physical scars alone had caused people to stare at me for all the wrong reasons.  They wanted to know what had happened to me, and they didn’t care that asking would sometimes send me into flashbacks I couldn’t control.  Every time I looked in a mirror I had the same thing happen.  Mirrors and I were not friends.

The emotional scars made me push people away when they got too close.  What if it happened again?  What if I hurt them during a flashback?  What if…so many ‘what ifs.’ 

No, there was no way Grillby would or even _could_ fall in love with a monster like me.

But that didn’t mean I couldn’t study with him.  And, truthfully, I could use the help.  This class was harder than I thought it should be.

Grillby came back with the other monster’s order.  Once served, my friend came back over to me.

“So, what do you think?” he asked.

“I’d like that.”  Probably too much, but he didn’t need to know that.

\---^v---FP---^v---

This was getting me nowhere.  I could barely focus on what we were doing.  The book sat open on Grillby’s lap as he asked me questions from the chapters I’d marked.  I couldn’t help but stare at him.

We had done things together before, but never anything like this.  This was closer and more personal than anything we’d done previously.  My brain kept thinking of different ways to seduce him.  I could probably do it.  As disgusting as I was to look at, I’d been told I had a lot of charm. 

But Grillby deserved a lot better than that.  He deserved _so much better_ than me.  Even if I could somehow convince him to spend a night with me, I’d be the biggest mistake he could make.  The thought sent my soul falling down into a dark abyss.  I loved this damn monster, and he could never, ever know it. 

And then he’d say something encouraging, probably thinking my pained silence was because I didn’t know the answer, and my soul would peek out of the abyss like maybe it had a chance.  It was wild roller coaster I wasn’t sure I could handle much more of.

He beamed at me after I answered the latest question.  His flames would tell me if I got it right before his voice would.  An incorrect answer would lead to flames softening, as if he was unconsciously trying to soften the blow to my ego.  A correct answer, on the other hand, would cause his flames to burn a bit brighter as if he was proud of me.

Apparently, I’d gotten the answer right.

“Good job, Gaster,” he said happily.  He went right on to asking the next question.

My mind was focused on the sound of his voice.  It was smooth, soft, and even.  Music to my auditory meatuses.

“You’re not really into this, are you?”

What?

I looked at him, a little surprised at the look on his face.  He reached up and straightened his glasses a little.  He looked…I don’t even know.  It wasn’t an expression I’d ever seen on his face before.

“I’m sorry,” I said softly.  “I’m trying to be.”

Grillby nodded.  “You’ve done really well.  What if we take a break?”  He shut the book without even waiting for a reply. 

It seemed we were taking a break.

I swallowed hard.  My thoughts weren’t exactly conducive to taking a nice, relaxing break with him.  I wanted to seduce him.

“There’s something I’d like to talk to you about, Gaster.”

I nodded.  “Okay.”

He leaned forward to put the book on the coffee table.  The look he gave me as he sat back was full of that unknown expression.  I wanted to know what it was.  He looked…hungry, but not in a physical sense.  It was more like he wanted something madly and knew he couldn’t have it. Boy, did I know what that felt like.

“I’m not really sure how to bring this up.  Before I do, I need to ask you something.  Are you currently in a relationship?”

Well, that was unexpected.  “Um…no?”  I couldn’t imagine why he would want to know.

He nodded as if he’d expected that.  Of course; how could I be in a relationship? Who would actually want to be with me for more than a night? 

The thought made my jaw tighten.

“I’ve wanted to talk to you about this for a long time,” he started.  “And by a long time, I mean at least a year.  I’ve been really nervous to bring it up, but I think…well, I think it’s time I stop hiding from this.  I have a confession to make.”

Whatever he was talking about made my soul clench tighter with anticipation.  My mind went wild with fantasies about him confessing that he’d actually loved me for a long time. I could see it all play out.  We’d talk about how we both felt, I’d confess that I’d felt the same for going on five years, and maybe we’d even kiss. 

Not that his fiery lips deserved the cracked and decimated remains I called a mouth. 

I shook my head to myself.  Even if he had deluded himself into thinking he liked me like that, he wouldn’t for long.  He’d come to his senses the way everyone did after a drunken mistake.

My thoughts turned dark.  What if we tried to be together and he did realize he deserved better? Would he let me down gently or would he turn his back on me? 

“Gaster?”

I looked at him and realized I’d completely tuned him out.  He’d said something, and I hadn’t even heard it.

“You could just say no,” he scoffed, but it didn’t sound upset.  He just sounded…hurt.  “I mean, the look on your face says it all.  I get it.”  He smiled and picked up the book.  “Do you still want that break, or should we get back to it?”

Shit.

What had he said?  And what did he mean by the look on my face?  What had I been thinking?

I felt myself go even colder than my usual frigidity when I realized I’d been scowling. 

“I’m sorry, Grillby,” I started.

He smiled reassuringly.  “It really is okay.  I’m sorry I brought it up.  I should have known better.”

“No, I mean I’m sorry because I didn’t hear you.  I was…caught up in my head.”  I gestured to the mess I called a skull.

He regarded me strangely for a second, his head turned at an angle.  His flames softened, as did his smile.

“You do that a lot, don’t you?”

I shrugged.  Just another reason nobody liked me.  I tended to think too damn much.

“What did you say?”

He laughed self-consciously.  “Well, now I’m nervous to say it again.  Please don’t look at me like that again if the answer is no.”

I made sure my face was friendly-ish.  “I promise, you have my full attention.”

He put the textbook back on the coffee table and sat back with a huge sigh.  “Okay, here goes nothing.  I wanted to know if you might be interested in coming to dinner with me one night this week.  I’m not talking about you coming to the bar; I mean, us, going out together.”

“Why?” What was he getting at? Why couldn’t we have dinner at his place? He had the best burgers in town and everyone knew it.  We’d had dinner together there plenty of times.  Maybe he just wanted something else.

His flames darkened; he was blushing.  Aw, man; that was cute.  He crackled a little, clearing his throat.

“Well, I’m…Gaster, I have this…I like you, okay?  Like, I mean, you’re so smart and so easy to talk to.  I really like you.”

Yeah, we were good friends.  I wasn’t sure how this was a confession.

“I like you, too, Grillby.”  If only he could know how much.

“You really are clueless sometimes, aren’t you?”

Well, that was rude.  My brow bones furrowed.  “I’m not clueless.”

“I’m trying to ask you out on a date.”

A what?

Oh.

_OH!_

“Why?” I asked again.  “I mean, why me?”

Grillby smiled at me, and my soul fell a little further down into the dark abyss.  He was toying with me.  He knew how I felt.  He had to.  How could my friend hurt me like this?

“This isn’t funny.” I stood up and took the textbook to my backpack.  Break or not, we were done here.

I could feel his heat behind me.  “So that’s a no?  You really need to work on directly answering a question.”

I turned to him and stopped in my tracks.  Why did he have to be so damn attractive?  He was normally so sweet and caring.  I saw how he interacted with everyone, and I seemed to be no different.  It was only one reason why I loved him so damn much.  He treated me the way he treated everyone else, like I wasn’t a scarred mess of bones. 

At least, he used to.  This was low.  I wasn’t sure I could forgive this.

“Gaster, can you please just give me a yes or a no?  Don’t make me guess.”

I looked up and sighed.  “Fine. Yes, I’ll go out with you.  I’d love to.  My god, I want to.  Is that what you want to hear? You want me to confess to you how I feel so you can pretend to set up a date?  Would you even show up?”

He stood there, his flames darkening with each passing second.  “I’m not playing with you, Gaster,” he seared.  “Why would I do that?”

I spread my arms out.  “I don’t know? I’m clueless, remember?  How should I know what’s going on in that goddamn stunning head of yours?”

“I’m being serious here,” he spat.  “Why can’t you take me seriously?”

I took a deep breath to calm down.  It didn’t work. I pinched the bridge of my nasal cavity and tried to think rationally.  No fantasies, just real thoughts.  It took me a few minutes to get calm enough to think realistically.

“You want to go on a date with me?” I asked.  “How could someone like you want me?”  I looked at him pleadingly.  I really needed an answer.

Grillby sucked in a breath.  His flames burned brighter as he let it out slowly.  “How could I not?  I told you before, Gaster, you’re smart and so easy to talk to.  You don’t judge me or anything I do.  You are my friend, and I feel like…I feel like we have so much more we could offer each other.”

I wanted to believe him.  I really did.

“I have nothing to offer you,” I said with a frown.  “This is literally all there is to me.”  I lifted my arms out to my sides again, this time to show him what he’d already seen a thousand times over.

He shook his head and stepped closer to me.  My soul fluttered and my breath caught in my chest.

“You don’t see what I do, do you?  What do you see in yourself, Gaster?”

I swallowed hard.  “There’s nothing, Grillby.  I’m nothing but scars.”

He shook his head again.  “That’s not true.  You’re so kind, despite what people do and say to you.  You have this never-ending _hope_.  I see how you get hurt time and again, but you always get back up and do it all over again. Your hope amazes me.  You’re so much more than your scars, Gaster.”

He reached out to touch me, and I instinctively flinched away from him.

“It’s okay,” he whispered.

I took in a shaky breath as his hand met my scarred cheekbone.

“It’s okay, Gaster.”  He moved a little closer to me and leaned in.

His face was right in front of mine.  Good god I wanted to kiss him.  He didn’t move to kiss me.  Could I?  Did I dare close that distance?

I did.

I leaned in and pressed my mouth against his.  His warmth was amazing to me.  It felt like heaven, especially when he pressed back.

He pulled back first.  My soul danced on the edge of the abyss.  I was terrified of what he would say or do when he realized what he’d just done.

“You’re not the only one with scars,” he said softly.  “You just can’t see mine thanks to my never-ending flames.”

“You don’t have scars, Grillby,” I whispered.  “You’re perfect.  Everything about you is so stunningly perfect.”  I couldn’t help but kiss him again.

He smiled and put his burning forehead against mine.  His heat almost hurt the cracks in my skull.  At the same time, it felt good.

“I was in the war,” he almost mumbled.  I heard him just fine.  “I got hurt, and I was forced to hurt others.  My scars are more in my head than on my body.  I don’t know what you went through, but I know what war is like.”

I almost wished I’d gotten theses scars in the war.  I could pretend I was a hero if that was the case.  I wasn’t old enough to make that story believable.

“Gaster, my point is this: I don’t care about your scars.  I mean, I care because they’re a part of you, but they don’t deter me from feeling like my soul was made to love you.”

My own soul skipped a few beats at his statement.  I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around him.  He did the same, and we just stood there in the embrace for what felt like ages.  I wanted to tell him all the reasons he shouldn’t love me, just so I could know for sure that he was being truthful with himself.  He needed to know my dark side, but I didn’t want him to see it.  I wanted to pretend that this could last.

“I know you hurt,” he whispered.  “I can’t imagine how bad it is for you.  I can tell you that I want to be there with you to help you through it.  I want to be the one to help you heal.”

I shook my head against his shoulder.  “I can’t heal.”

“You’ve healed as much as you can physically. I understand that.  I meant your emotional scars, Gaster.”  He kissed the side of my head.  “Please let me help you.”

I finally pulled back and met his eyes.  “Why?”

He smiled.  “Because I love you.”

“I love you, too.” 

My soul took a few steps away from the abyss.  Maybe it had a chance?

“But, Grillby, I get these flashbacks…” I wanted him to know, but I knew how hard they were to deal with.  I wished I could escape from myself when they happened.

He nodded.  “I know all about flashbacks.  I have a few doozies myself, especially when they start setting off fireworks.”  He shivered next to me. 

My soul ached for him.  I could see in his face how hard they hit him.  I put my hand on his cheek and leaned in for a kiss. 

“We really are a pair, aren’t we?” I asked as I pulled back.  “Mine are worst when I hear drilling.”  I winced.  I didn’t even like to talk about drills.  Or think about them.

His eyes told me how he felt about my comment.  He was sad for me, the way I was sad for him. 

“That’s why you never come in when we’re doing construction?”

I nodded.

We migrated back to the couch and sat close together, our hands entwined with each other.  I leaned into his warmth.

“You feel good,” I mumbled.

He took his hand from mine to wrap it around my shoulders.  This was bliss.  He held me tightly, and I felt his flaming lips press against my head.  At least it wasn’t the scarred side.

I closed my eyes tightly and reminded myself that he probably wouldn’t care if it was.  He’d still kiss me, wouldn’t he?

“Are you cold?” he asked gently.

I snuggled into him a little tighter.  “I’m always cold.”

I could feel his chuckle in every part of my body that was touching his.  I couldn’t help but smile.

“Well, I’ll forever be here to warm you up then.”

Another kiss.

We stayed like that for what felt like hours.  I could never tire of it.  Just the two of us, snuggled together on my couch and sharing simple, sweet kisses in comfortable silence.  I couldn’t recall ever being so happy.

“Gaster?”

I didn’t want to move.  I hummed back nearly inaudibly.  Somehow, he must have heard me.

“Please don’t ever doubt me.  I truly do love you.”

I pondered that for a moment.  His voice was soft and yet desperate at the same time.

Could I promise that? I wasn’t sure how.  I didn’t even like myself on occasion; how could I expect him to love me continuously?

“What are you thinking?”

I should probably tell him the truth.  I sat up and gave him a kiss on the cheek.  “You will get tired of me,” I said.

He sighed and sat up with me.  “No, I won’t.  If anything, you’re the one who will get tired of me.  I’m the uninteresting one of the two of us, Gaster.  You’re on your way to becoming a world-famous scientist, and I’m a bartender.”

I scoffed.  “You’re not just a bartender, Grillby.  You’re…amazing, in every sense of the word.”

“What about when you find out how many people I’ve killed?”

Wait, what?

“In the war, right?”

He laughed a little.  “Yes, in the war.  I’m not…I would like to say I’m not a killer, but I am.  Could you ever forgive me for that?”

I met his eyes incredulously.  “You killed because you had to.  It was _war_ , Grillby.  There’s nothing even there to forgive.  How could anyone hold that against you?”

“They find ways,” he said darkly.  “Apparently fire craves death.”

“That’s ridiculous.  Have you seen you? You’re the gentlest monster in this damn town.”

“But could you promise me that you’d never be scared of me?”

The look on his face hurt my soul to its core.  He was really scared of that scenario.  I could understand.  There would come a time when he’d see what my magic was capable of and he’d be afraid of me.  Could I promise that I wouldn’t get scared if our situations were reversed?  I’d be able to protect myself from whatever his attacks were, of that I was certain.

“Consider me fireproof.” I scooted a little closer to him and took his hands.  “I can withstand anything you throw at me, Grillby.”

He smiled and kissed me.  “Then you better not doubt that I can do the same for you.”


End file.
